Going out on a date for the first time, or even the hundredth time can generate a crisis of tension. We’ve all been through it, the tie in the stomach, the sweaty palms, the stuttering. When the date is over you feel relieved from all that panic, but the date was another unsuccessful attempt. Read the next lines and avoid those feelings.

Fear

The source of all that nervousness is nothing but fear. You’re afraid of messing up and getting rejected. The first step to release all that tension is simply to admit your fear. Everyone is afraid of social rejection; even the most social person in the world has its doubts. Next time you go out on a date admit that you can be afraid, and still do what needs to be done.

Breathe

The second step is learning how to breathe properly. When you’re under pressure, your body prepares you for the tension load. You start hyperventilating, by taking frequent shallow breaths. This results in super oxygenating your blood flow, and consequently overloading your system with unnecessary adrenaline. To avoid this you need to discipline your breathing by inhaling deeply, but not releasing the air rapidly. Hold your breath for five seconds and then exhale. Don’t worry; this will not prejudice your concentration when you’re dating, because after a while the rhythm will become automatic. Once you get the hang of it, you’ll notice your pulse slowing down to a normal rate and you’ll feel composed again.

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Control your mind

Your mind is the most powerful tool when you’re nervous. If you feel the anxiety growing inside you because of what it might happen that night or by her exciting looks, create an invisible barrier the two of you. Imagine she’s another person, a person with whom you feel comfortable, a friend, or someone from your family. I guarantee you that this will effectively work against anxiety.

Try to think of the date as normal event, because it is. It’s as simple as going to the grocery shop, or going out for a drink with your buddies. It makes part of everyone’s life. Use your fear to your advantage. Fear is a not a paralyzing reaction of your body. Fear prepares your body for critical situations. Learn to exploit fear and make it a positive part of your life.

“Courage is not the lack of fear but the ability to face it.”
- Lt. John B. Putnam Jr.

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