You Don’t Have to Be Jerry Seinfeld to Tell Great Jokes

Author: datinggun

13 Oct

Jokes are the greatest “icebreakers” of all times. Even a shy stranger will gladly accept you if you make her laugh. People like to be entertained and bringing a smile to their face might grant you good relationships. Pick-up lines are the most used form of jokes in the dating scene, and they will allow you to meet any woman by breaking her wall of shyness. We’ve talked about pick-up lines before, you can check the article here, and today we are going to talk about jokes in general. We are going to study the art of telling jokes. Keep reading.

Practice, practice, practice

Have you ever thought about what Jerry Seinfeld does to come up with such good jokes? If you think that’s fruit of improvisation, you’re wrong. All comedians practice their jokes. They tell it out loud in front of the mirror till they master it. If you want to tell a good joke make sure you learn the joke and you understand it. In the privacy of your home start practicing, listen to yourself telling the joke till you master it.

Timing

There’s a time for jokes and time for normal conversation. Don’t interrupt people just because you thought of a joke. A good time to apply your jokes it’s when you’re alone with your date and silence falls. When that happens your date will be looking at you, waiting for you to say something, and that’s the right time to strike with your best joke. When the joke is over, let the conversation flow again. Don’t insist on the jokes the whole date.

Stuttering

If you’re nervous, you’ll end up messing the whole joke. Tell the joke slowly. Pace your speech and relax as much as possible. You should be able to control your anxiety and nervousness through your breathing by now. If you don’t know how to control your breathing, then take a look at this article. Try to adapt the tone of your voice to the circumstances. If it’s a crowded place you’ll probably need to talk loud, but if you’re alone with someone, lower the tone of your voice a bit, but make sure it’s clear.

Big groups

Easy! Just apply all the methods above, but this time you will keep eye contact with everyone. Keep shifting from one person to another. That will make everyone feel like you’re telling them the joke alone. Another important thing: Smile! Always keep your smile up.

Now go outside and put those methods a work. Give the best first impression ever by bringing enjoyment to your dates. Remember; if one of your jokes doesn’t succeed give it a second shot. If the success rate of the joke is not that great, eliminate her from your portfolio. Keep the good ones and throw the others in the trash can.

Here’s one of my favorites! Hope you enjoy.

Computer Diagnosis

One day Bill complained to his friend, “My elbow really hurts; I guess I should see a doctor.”

His friend offered, “Don’t do that. There’s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10.”

Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.

Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.

He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don’t stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.